


It Goes On

by ClosingtheValves



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alya Disapproves, F/M, LoveSquarePlusLuka, PreviousRelationship, SadMarinette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23644648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClosingtheValves/pseuds/ClosingtheValves
Summary: Tom Dupain dies from a stress induced heart attack after an akuma battle, leaving behind a daughter heavy with guilt and unable to carry the weight. This is a story of how Marinette Dupain-Chang struggles to uphold her responsibility as Ladybug while grieving as Marinette.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 21
Kudos: 82





	1. The Death

**I do not own any characters from this show.**

Everything was supposed to go back to normal after she said those magical words.

_Miraculous Ladybug._

And suddenly cracks in the pavements were smoothed out. Shattered glass was repaired. Entire houses stood erect once again. Human flesh was healed. Darkness was expunged.

So when her father turns to her with his hand clutching his chest, Marinette recognizes it as a sign of gratitude to Ladybug and Chat Noir. Her father had a big heart. Her mother used to joke that he’d put his hand on his chest frequently so it wouldn’t burst through his skin and shower everyone in warmth. The thought causes Marinette to smile at her father. Until he drops to his knees, his wide eyes looking towards her. The whites of his eyes are swallowing his irises. His mouth is a crooked ‘o.’ She never had better vision than she has at that moment. She swears she could count the number of taste buds on his tongue that are barely peeking out behind his teeth. She looks at the shadows his eyelashes cast on his pupils. Chat has his hands over her father’s chest doing compressions. She watches as her father’s body flails under the pressure.

“Someone call 112,” Chat yells out. She can see his muscles straining beneath his leather suit. Every compression he does was a whispered promise of death in Marinette’s ear.

“Chat..” she whispers, her voice so soft she barely heard herself. She can hear her earrings beeping incessantly but she can't grasp the idea that she had to leave. _Leave?_ Was her body even able to move? “Chat!” this time the cry bubbles straight from her chest past her lips. He only glances over at her in a panic.

“Ladybug! His daughter and wife! Make sure they don’t come in and see this!” Chat calls out, continuing his CPR. Death whispers again and again in her ear. “Ladybug!”

_His daughter and wife. His wife. Her mother! She couldn’t see this. It would ruin her._

So Ladybug runs from the bakery storefront to the staircase which connected the bakery to her house. She catches her mother on the staircase, just five steps away from...from _that._ She grips her shoulders.

“Ladybug what’s wrong?” her mother asks, eyes looking over every inch of her face. Marinette knows that look. It isn’t the worried look of a concerned civilian. It is the look a mother gave to her daughter. That’s why Marinette doesn’t flinch when Tikki can’t hold her disguise for a second longer. Her mother’s eyes never waver in their worry, never show an ounce of shock. “Marinette, what’s wrong?” she asks again. Marinette finds her tongue can’t move in a way that would let out the words intelligibly. Her tongue. Her taste buds. Her father’s taste buds. So many barely peeking through behind his teeth...behind his lips curved in a crooked circle.

“Marinette,” Sabine says, hands landing on her daughter’s shoulders. Marinette somehow remembers gravity with that touch.

“Papa,” she croaks, her throat constricting. Her mother’s visage suddenly blurs. She feels an uncomfortable tightness in her chest, like her blood was trying to find a way through her skin. _My chest. His chest._ “Papa,” the sound that comes out of her runs through her whole body like a crack in the pavement. The word shatters on her tongue like glass and cuts the inside of her cheeks. Marinette can see when the realization consumes her mother’s eyes and it pushes the tears over her lids like an avalanche. She can’t bear to look at her mother like this so she buries her head in her neck. It is burning and wet in the space between her skin and her mother’s skin. Her mother tries to move around her but she uses her incredible strength to keep her in place. She doesn’t want her to see.

It isn’t until Sabine hears the sirens that she stops struggling and falls onto the stairs in resignation.

Marinette falls with her.


	2. Levity

_ “I wonder who’s out for us today?” Ladybug said as she flipped off a roof with one hand and landed gracefully on the next roof. She adjusted her bangs, finally getting a clear view of Chat Noir who was looking down at her attire with slightly parted lips.  _

_ “New?” is the only breathy word he could manage. _

_ “Ten years with the same suit, I figured it was time.” she said with a small smirk. Chat Noir looked self consciously at the same skin-tight leather suit he had worn since his early teens with a pensive frown. _

_ “Maybe I should update my suit too,” he said, extending his arms in front of him and wiggling his fingers. Ladybug feigned a gasp.  _

_ “But all the women of Paris would be absolutely heartbroken,” she said, clutching her chest. Chat Noir rolls his eyes. _

_ “Har har. I’m the only one here with actual connects anyways,” Chat said. Ladybug suppressed a giggle knowing exactly what “connects” Chat was referring too. She turned her head. _

_ “Not anymore KitKat,” she said, leaping onto the next roof and starting a gentle jog. She heard Chat’s gasp and the clank of his bo staff against the roof behind her, propelling him into the air.  _

_ “You went to Marinette!” he said, sliding down a lampost next to the building and landing on the ground. Ladybug’s smirk turned into a full on smile as she landed next to him. _

_ “She misses you,” Ladybug teased. Chat grumbled. She flicked the bell underneath his neck. _

_ “Anyone ever taught you to share Kitty?” she asked, starting a leisurely stroll down the block. _

_ “No actually, I live quite the privileged life out of this mask.”  _

_ “So you’ve said. Not that I couldn’t tell considering how much stuff you think you can get away with,” Ladybug said, practically singing. Chat narrowed his eyes at her but the accompanying smirk betrays his attempt at anger.  _

_ “Says the woman who was late to yet another patrol.” _

_ “Hey some of us actually have jobs outside of this!”  _

_ “And yet you had plenty of time to talk to Mari.”  _

_ “Yes we’re planning our wedding, we’re practically one already,” Ladybug joked, biting her lip. “Don’t be jealous kitty. You’ll get an invite.”  _

_ “I’m going to see what she can do for me,” Chat said, walking a few paces behind his partner. Ladybug smiled softly and turned to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. _

_ “I’m sure she’d love that. She really does miss you. You know, she admires you a lot. She told me herself,” Ladybug said. Ladybug tried to keep things between her and Chat playful so that his unrequited love for her didn’t suck all the oxygen from the air between them. That meant she tried to keep her honest admiration of him private while sporting the mask. But she soon realized she could tell him everything she felt through Marinette. _

_ Chat’s face turned bright red as he played with the tips of his hair on the back of his neck.  _

_ “She’s the one who I admire. I’ve never met anyone kinder in my life,” Chat said, his smile softer than the orange painting the sky behind him. Ladybug barely had a chance to blush before Chat’s eyes widened and hands went up, palms out. “Present company excluded of course.”  _

_ Ladybug giggled.  _

_ “Relax Chat! You’re allowed to like other girls.”  _

_ “I do not like Marinette!” Chat said, stomping a foot. Ladybug felt her shoulders tense up before she remembered that Chat was only protesting so hard because he didn’t want to seem entangled in another woman.  _

_ “So you’re not friends with her?” Ladybug asked. _

_ “Of course I’m friends with her,” Chat said. Ladybug rolled her eyes.  _

_ “Okay so you like her.” _

_ “Yes but I mean...I don’t like her like her.” Ladybug felt an uncontrollable rush of fire in her blood immediately.  _

_ “And I’m sure she doesn’t like you like you either,” Ladybug said, chin raised high. Chat scoffed.  _

_ “How would you know? You’ve only known her for like five minutes. I’ve known her for years!” Chat’s lips were a tight, thin line and his impressive arms were crossed tightly. Ladybug felt a little, guilty tug in her stomach. She wanted to say sorry. Instead she smiled goofily and put both hands over her heart in one exaggerated swoop of her arms.  _

_ “Yet I feel like I’ve known her my whole life,” she joked. Chat let his arms fall to his side and curved one side of his lips sheepishly at her. He rolled his eyes and pushed her arm lightly. Ladybug wobbled then giggled when she regained steady footing. _

“Marinette, honey,” her mom says, her voice thick and foreign. “We have to go out there.”

Marinetter feels herself shiver against her mom. 

“Mom. I don’t-” she pauses. “What if-”

“Sweetheart, your Dad shouldn’t be alone,” Sabine says, pushing Marinette’s head away from her body. She smooths down Marinette’s bangs and gives her a watery smile. Marinette feels hot bile rise to her chest at the idea but she wasn’t going to let her mom do it alone. She nods, causing a few tears to escape her lower lid.

So together they walk to the door at the end of the staircase. Marinette tries to remember the levity of her earlier conversation with Chat Noir. How the day could start by fooling around about costumes to... _ this _ . Her mom’s arm is interlocked with hers as they walk through the doors. Something warm and bright bursts in her chest. Who’s to say this is what takes him out? Her father could very well be alive beyond this door. She’s suddenly renewed and moves quickly to get a look.

She can only see the backs of paramedics’ shirts when they walk into the bakery so she finds herself turning hopefully to Chat Noir who has directed his attention to herself and her mother. She feels that her eyes are open wider than usual. Chat Noir looks at her with his lower lip sucked into his mouth. His arms are crossed around his body. He bows his head. When he looks up again, Marinette can see how irritated his eyes are.

She shakes her head quickly. Her mom lets out a soft sob and lets go of her hand, moving behind the dessert display to kneel next to her father. Marinette can only look at Chat Noir, mirroring his pose. 

“I’m so sorry Mari,” Chat Noir says, his voice is trembling but Marinette still feels it sharp in her core. She suddenly feels like the Earth is tugging her to its core. She drops to her knees, placing both hands on her thighs. Chat is quick to kneel before her. He brushes her bangs away from her eyes.

“Hey, what do you need from me?” Chat Noir says. Marinette looks up at him and tries to say something but her lips start to quiver and his silhouette blurs. She feels him wrap his arms around her and she buries her head into his shoulder. She’s holding onto him tight, digging her fists into the dents his back muscles leave. It’s only an incessant beeping that makes her pull away. His ring hand lies limply on her thigh. She sees he’s close to transforming. 

“You have to go,” she says, dragging her sleeve across her wet cheeks to dry them off. Chat Noir grabs her now dry cheeks.

“I’ll come back soon, okay?” he says and she nods despite feeling her stomach flip at the idea of him leaving. He gives her one last look over before standing up and running out the front door. 

She’s hit instantly with the cold night air that rushes in. 


	3. Silence

Marinette is looking at the steam rising from her mug as it twists and turns in the air. She can feel the heat from the mug burning her skin. Her eyes run over her red, irritated fingertips. A pile of cookies lies untouched on a plate between where she’s sitting and where her mom is sitting. Neither of them can figure out if the cookies were made by Sabine or Tom so neither of them could work up the appetite to eat.

It was 10 pm and the silence was filling the spaces between them to the point where it felt like they couldn’t move. Her mother who had been all action before this- calling local law enforcement and their funeral home- was now slumped in her chair, seemingly mesmerized by how her tea bag rested in her cup. The tinkle of the bell in the storefront ripples off the walls and causes both of them to jump out of their seats. Chat Noir, quickly sensing how quiet it is, cringes before hesitatingly cracking the door to the kitchen open. He peaks in the room.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to disturb,” he says, cringing. Sabine plasters on a polite smile, which would have been much more authentic had her eyes not been bloodshot.

“Please come in Chat Noir, you know you’re always welcome.” Chat Noir holds the door open with one hand and plays with the nape of his neck with the other.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude. I just wanted to check on Mari,” Chat says, looking over Marinette. She gives him a small smile.

“Would you like some tea Chat? Cookies?” Marinette asks, already getting up to prepare him a cup.

“No, Mari, you don’t have to-” Chat says, stepping into the kitchen finally. Marinette looks at him, teapot held tightly in her hand, eyes quickly getting glossy. Chat quickly understands that this is something she needs him to say ‘yes’ to. “Yeah, okay. Tea sounds good.” 

“Why don’t you come sit by me, Chat?” Sabine asks, patting the seat next to her. It grows silent again as Marinette begins pouring hot water into Chat’s mug. Chat drums his fingers against the table, looking down so that his bangs are obscuring his eyes. 

“I just-” Marinette pauses as she pours and Sabine looks at Chat attentively. “I just want to apologize. I wish I could have done more for your husband,” Chat says, looking directly at Sabine. Marinette swears she feels her heart throb inside her chest. Sabine bites her lip, her eyes watering immediately. She rubs a hand over Chat’s and smiles weakly at him.

“I’m happy someone was with him in his final moments,” she says. Marinette immediately feels like she was standing on unsteady ground. She sways and the mug slips from her hand. She tries to grab it before it falls but her hand meets nothing but scalding hot water. The cup shatters at her feet causing piping hot water to inflame the skin of her exposed shins. She screams out.

“Shit!” she says. Chat’s in front of her immediately, hoisting her onto the counter. She drops her head into her hands, palms digging into her stinging eyes. Her face is hot and she feels her tears sting against her newly burned hand. “I’m sorry,” she cries. 

“Hey,” she hears Chat gently whisper from where he’s kneeling in front of her. He takes her wrists gently in both hands and moves them. He looks at her, his large green eyes intense in the kitchen light. “It’s just a broken mug, okay?”

Marinette nods but her throat is still painfully tight. She knows she wants to cry more.

“Can I see your palm?” Chat asks. She nods again. He gently turns her wrist in his hand. She looks down at the bright red blotch on her skin. Chat sucks his teeth. His hand moves lightly over the skin on her shin. She hisses. 

“Sabine, do you have any ointment we can apply to these burns?” Sabine is already standing by him with a bottle. Chat looks at her and Marinette’s sure his brows were raised beneath that mask. Sabine must sense it too because she shrugs.

“We work in a bakery. Burns aren’t uncommon.”

Chat nods and twists open the cap. He delicately rubs the cream onto the red skin of Marinette’s shin. She stares at the top of his head. He must sense her gaze because suddenly he looks up at her, pinning her with his luminescent green eyes. Marinette lets out a breath when he continues to rub her shins while maintaining eye contact. Her face stings with heat. Chat’s lips part, just enough for Marinette to see his teeth and she’s struck by a warmth that explodes in her chest and stretches its fingers to her extremities. She moves her shins out of his hand.

“Thank you.” Chat Noir nods, standing up from his kneeling position. 

“Would you like my help with anything?” Chat asks Sabine, who’s been watching the two silently.

“No, that’s okay Chat. Thank you,” Marinette answers for her mother, mindlessly placing her palms on the counter in order to propel herself off. She hisses instantly. Chat moves to grab her, but she moves out the way. “I think we’ll be heading to bed soon.”

“Oh-okay, well if you need me-”

“I’ll call!” Marinette chirps, grabbing the ointment from his hands. Chat arches his eyebrows again then looks at Sabine. She smiles at him politely.

“Okay, whenever you need me.” Chat puts his hand under Marinette’s chin and forces her to look up at him. “For anything, okay?”

Marinette nods breathlessly. Chat holds her gaze long enough to convince himself that she was being honest. He nods and removes his hand from her face.

“That goes for you too Sabine,” Chat says, pointing at her mom. Sabine smiles.

“Would you like to take some cookies before you go?” Sabine asks, moving the untouched plate towards him. Chat smiles.  
“You know the answer is almost always yes,” Chat says, grabbing two cookies. Sabine giggles and hands him a paper bag to place his cookies in. 

Marinette can feel the suffocating silence trickle in after the door closes behind Chat Noir. Sabine must feel it too because she clears her throat.

“Are you staying here tonight?” she asks. Marinette shudders at the thought of her empty apartment.

“Yeah. I think so.”

* * *

Marinette is drying her hair with a towel when she walks to her parent’s bedroom. She’s standing outside the open door. The only light in the room is the one tricking in from the hallway and the one from the computer monitor in the corner of the room. Her mom has her pjs in her hand. She’s standing in front of the made up bed with a far away look in her eyes. Marinette feels her heart constrict.

“Hey mom,” she says softly. Her mom jumps, dropping the pjs on the bed. She places a hand over her heart.

“I didn’t see you,” her mom says. 

“Sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted me to sleep with you tonight?” Marinette asks. Sabine’s eyes instantly water. She nods quickly.

“Only if you want to,” she says. Marinette smiles and moves the covers off of her dad’s side of the bed. 

“Your bed was always much more comfortable than mine.”

Her mom smiles gratefully and goes to the bathroom to change into her pajamas. Marinette is under the covers by the time her mom settles into her side. Her mom’s back is turned to her. Marinette looks at the ceiling. The silence settles heavily on them. Marinette feels it weighing down on her lungs. She turns to her mom’s back, staring at how her black strands glow blue in the moonlight.

“Mom?”

“Yes honey,” her mom says without turning around. Marinette’s throat closes up.

“Do you blame me for not being there with Dad?” she asks. Her mom stays silent for a moment. It starts to feel really suffocatingly hot under the sheets. A tear falls from Marinette’s left eye and slithers over the bump of her nose, finally wetting the pillow beneath her. 

“I just wish he would have seen one of us,” Sabine says quietly. Marinette bites her lip hard and wraps her arms tightly around herself. 

At 3 am, when her mother’s rhythmic breathing assures her that she’s asleep, Marinette lifts the sheet.

“Spots on,” she says, once she’s at a far enough distance to know she won’t wake up her mom. Not too long after she’s flying off the roof of her home into the Parisian night. She doesn’t know where she’s going until she’s in front of his apartment building. 

* * *

**Thank you guys for all your kind feedback! I hope you are enjoying the read!**   
  



	4. Memories

**Thank you for your continued support. I do not own any of the characters from Parks and Recreation.**

* * *

“Spots off,” Marinette says, ignoring as Tikki zips around her. She bites her lip, looking at the window at the top of the apartment complex. Tikki floats into her line of vision.

“Marinette.” she says in an uncharacteristically deep voice. “It’s almost 4 am and you’ve had a very very bad day.” Marinette brings her hands up to cup Tikki.

“He gave me a key.”

“You can’t just enter his apartment at 3 am,” Tikki tries.

“I’ll knock,” Marinette says, looking beyond Tikki at the window again. Tikki’s deep sigh gets her attention. 

“You’re in a very vulnerable state right now. I’m worried you don’t know what kind of situation you’re getting yourself into.”

“Tikki, I just need to talk to him,” Marinette says, feeling her chest grow tight. Her fingers tingle with the urge to fidget. Had she not been holding Tikki, she’d be drumming her fingers against her thighs. “He’s the only one of my friends who will really get it.”

“He loves your father.” Tikki says. Marinette forgets to breathe for a minute as an image of them all playing Mario Kart together pops into her head. 

“We could help each other,” Marinette says. Tikki pauses at the sight of Marinette’s eyes getting glossy in the moonlight.

“Oh Mari-”  
“I’ll just knock a couple times. If he doesn’t answer we’ll leave.” Tikki doesn’t have the chance to protest as Marinette is already moving to unlock the entrance. 

Despite the certainty she felt walking up the steps, Marinette’s hand pauses mid-air before she knocks. She uncurls her fingers and rests her palm against the cold door. She takes a step forward and drops her forehead against the door. She curls her fingers and knocks two times as promised. When a few minutes of silence pass by Marinette sees Tikki float into her peripheral. She feels her skin tighten and she quickly moves to knock twice more. 

“Marinette we agreed-” Tikki says but quickly zips into Marinette’s purse when she hears the door knob rattle. Marinette takes a step back and runs her fingers through her bangs quickly. The door opens and he’s standing in front of her rubbing one eye. The other is half open. He’s leaning against the door. Marinette instantly feels two things. Guilt because he was clearly tired and immediate arousal because his pajama bottoms were laying low on his hips and the muscles in his arm were moving as he rubbed his eye. 

“Mari?” he asks and his brow crinkles in confusion briefly. Then in an instant he removes his hand from his eye and moves his weight off the door frame. “Marinette.”

It’s the way he says her full name. Like he laced each letter with all his love for her. She knows immediately that he knows her father is dead, so she doesn’t cry or hesitate when she says her next words.

“My dad is dead.” 

Adrien places a hand on her shoulder and for a minute they just feel the weight of those words in the air. Then Adrien purses his lips and nods. 

“I have cold pizza, half a bottle of Jack, and all the seasons of _Parks and Rec_ on Netflix.”

Marinette feels a lightness that has her straightening her back and stopping to feel the breath in her lungs.

“Are we going to skip seasons one and two?”

“We never mention those first two seasons,” Adrien says and she’s surprised when muffled giggle escapes through her closed lips. Adrien smiles at her and she takes a second to appreciate how dazzling it is. He moves the hand on her shoulder so that he can wrap his arm around her. He leads her to his couch and kicks the door shut with his foot.

“Pepperoni or cheese?” he asks, when he’s satisfied that she’s settled comfortably on his couch. Marinette quickly shakes her head, placing a hand to her forehead.

“I don’t really have an appetite,” she says. She begins rubbing her elbows with her hands. Adrien puckers his lips and nods a couple times.

“When’s the last time you ate?” he asks. Marinette tries to think back to the morning but as she rewinds through the day her mind stops abruptly at the image of her Dad’s tongue behind his teeth. She instantly feels a hot, uncomfortable lump in her throat and tries to swallow around it. Her eyes begin to sting. She shakes her head in response and Adrien’s face softens.

“Why don’t I heat you up a couple slices just in case? You don’t have to eat it, but just in case you want to,” Adrien says. She nods again, the pressure in her throat reducing considerably. 

Five minutes later, Adrien is laying two slices of pizza on the coffee table in front of Marinette. Despite her earlier position that she wasn’t hungry, the smell of warm cheese has her mouth watering. She quickly grabs the plate. Adrien sits down next to her, trying to hide his small, grateful smile. Marinette moans when the first bite settles warmly in the pit of her empty stomach. She’s three or four bites in when she notices Adrien patting his thighs. She arches an eyebrow at him, a stringy piece of cheese dangling from the corner of her lips. 

“Plop your legs up here real quick,” he says. She doesn’t question it, just kicks off her crocs and places her legs on top of him. He plucks her Chat Noir themed fuzzy socks and laughs.

“Nice,” he teases. She sticks her tongue out at him. He moves his hands down the top of her feet and places two fingers gently on the red skin of her shins. She hisses.

“What happened here?” he says, running the two fingers up and down her shin softly.

“Burned myself,” she says through a mouthful of pizza. 

“I got some ointment in my bathroom, hold on,” Adrien says, removing her legs from his lap gently. Marinette pauses in her eating. Her head lolls to the soft cushion on the sofa. A soft smile that grew out of a warmth in her chest graces her face. Adrien rushes back and places her legs back on his lap. He meticulously rubs the cream into her shin. When he’s done he caps the ointment and puts it on the coffee table. 

“Good?”

Marinette places that pizza on the coffee table, rubs her hands on her pajama shorts and reaches over to rub Adrien’s shoulder affectionately.

“Good. Thank you,” she says. Adrien’s face grows pink and he focuses on shifting Marinette’s feet on his lap a little. She stifles a giggle and lays back down on the couch cushion. 

“Let’s start the show,” Adrien says, and fumbles around for the remote. Adrien picks a random episode and presses play. Marinette reaches for her pizza again and is about to take a bite when the theme music starts playing.

* * *

 _“What are you kids watching?” Tom Dupain said, dropping a plate piled high with chocolate chip cannolis in front of the pair. Marinette groaned and moved a couple of inches away from Adrien so that the fabric of their jeans was no longer touching. The theme song of_ **_Parks and Rec_ ** _began to play._

_“Ooh your mom and I love this show!” he said, grabbing one of a cannoli and sinking into the recliner. Adrien chuckled and grabbed a cannoli._

_“Thanks for the cannolis sir!” Adrien chirped. Tom waved a hand non committedly._

_“You know, your mom tells me I look a lot like that gentleman on his show. What’s his name? Rob? No no, it’s Ron!”_

_“Dad, you do not look like Ron Swanson!” Marinette groaned, irritation prickling under her skin. Adrien swallowed the huge bite he took of his cannoli._

_“Actually I can see the resemblance. You guys both have some pretty kick-ass mustaches,” Adrien commented. He blushed, afraid that Marinette’s father would disapprove of his open cursing. A loud laugh exploded from Tom and he clapped his hands animatedly._

_“See sweetheart. The model has spoken. Ron Swanson and I have some ‘kick-ass mustaches’,” Tom said, wiggling his brows. Marinette rolled her eyes._

_“Dad, don’t you have a cake to decorate or something?” Marinette urged._

_“What cake?” Tom Dupain asked, rubbing crumbs out of his mustache pensively. Suddenly he sits up abruptly. “Oh. Oh!” he said quickly looking between Marinette and Adrien. “You guys want alone time, is it?”_

_“Oh my God,” Marinette said, sinking her immediately burning face into both of her hands. Adrien can’t help the laugh that erupts passed his lips, greatly amused at his friend’s embarrassment._

* * *

Now, looking at the screen in front of her, Marinette is struck by how much her father does look like Ron Swanson. She feels her throat burn intensely and a single tear falls down onto the half eaten slice of pizza on her plate. She wants to tell her dad that she finally sees what her mom saw the whole time. 

She puts the pizza back on the coffee table quietly and tries to talk her way out of the tears quickly sliding down her cheeks in rapid succession. She desperately tries to push them off her cheeks but every time her finger wipes away one drop, another two come to replace it. Her chest is burning with the need to sob. 

She looks towards Adrien and he’s staring intensely at the screen. She knows he must hear her. She keeps on sniffling uncontrollably. But his eyes remained fixed on the screen in front of him. She knows he’s trying to give her privacy. It’s so sweet that she can’t help the loud, guttural sob that rips from her chest. She uses both hands to cover her face, the skin of her palms instantly getting wet. Adrien, stops pretending he can’t hear her and pauses the TV.

“Oh Mari,” he says, rubbing a hand up and down her thigh.

“You’re- you’re so nice,” she cries into her hands. Feeling her lips quiver against her wrists. “My dad **_loved_ **you. So so much. Even after everything that happened between us.”

Adrien’s own eyes begin to water as he begins rubbing circles on Marinette’s legs. “I loved him too. A lot.” Adrien says, his voice cracking slightly. Marinette curls up into herself slightly.

“How am I supposed to do this Adrien?” Marinette asks, finally removing her hands from her face. Snot is falling from her nose and strands of her bangs are sticking out in weird places. 

“It feels-” her voice breaks and she has to take a deep breath. “It feels like there was a long string between me and my Dad. And-and he’d hold one end and I’d hold the other and we’d both just- we’d both just kind of pin our memories of the two of us between us. On the string,” Marinette feels like she sounds hysterical. She’s moving her hands around wildly as she speaks. Adrien’s stares at her attentively. 

“But now he’s not there,” Marinette cries, and pushes her bangs up with her hand. Digging her fingers in her hair. “He’s not there to hold his end of the string. And the memories are just falling all around me. And I just keep stumbling on them and...and-” Marinette says, and she places her other hand on her forehead. 

“And it hurts?”

“And it hurts.” Marinette finishes, removing his hands from her head and dropping them from onto her lap. She moves her legs off of Adrien’s lap and sits next to him close enough for the hair on his arm to tickle the skin of her arm. It grows quiet and Marinette begins to focus on how her fuzzy socks look against Adrien’s printed area rug.

Adrien thinks carefully about what to say next. When his mother died, he used to hate when people would tell him they were sorry. It always felt stitched with discomfort and insincerity.

“I wish there was something I could do to make it hurt less,” Adrien finally says. Marinette moves her fingers slowly over his and interlocks them.

“Just being here is helping,” Marinette says. Marinette looks at Adrien, the wetness in her eyes making them look even larger and softer than usual. Behind them, outside of Adrien’s window, they hear the first chirp of a new morning.


	5. Soft Sunlight, Sharp Stares

_ Marinette wakes up to the feeling of soft, smooth skin against her hip. She lifts the sheets. The oversized t-shirt she’s wearing has inched up her stomach, just over her belly button. Adrien’s lips are curved in a lazy smirk against the lace of her pink panties. She drops the sheets briefly and looks at the dust particles falling like glitter in the soft morning sunlight. Another soft kiss on her hip has her lifting her sheets again. The yellow rims around his pupils are brighter today than usual as he peaks at her through strands of hair.  _

_ “Adrien?” she asks. Adrien props his chin on her stomach and smiles so hard he gets happy lines in the corner of his eyes.  _

_ “Morning bug,” Adrien says, so naturally, like eggs at a diner on a Sunday morning. Marinette lifts a tentative hand and runs it through Adrien’s soft locks. She trails her hand down his cheek, feeling the warmth emanating from his skin as he smiles.  _

_ “What are you doing there?” she asks, her eyebrows scrunched up.  _

_ “Not what you and I want me to be doing,” he says suggestively. Marinette gasps. _

_ “I-” _

_ “I’m hiding from a little monster,” Adrien whispers.  _

_ “Monster? Like an akuma?” Marinette asks, bottom lip wedged in her mouth. _

_ “Worse,” Adrien whispers, but his voice is buoyant. Suddenly something is swinging into her side. Adrien laughs uproariously. _

_ “Oh no! We’ve been discovered!” he yells and kicks the covers off of them. It’s a blur of limbs but once Marinette is able to focus her vision she sees a small boy with soft golden curls secured in Adriens hands.  _

_ “Woah buddy, you have a lot of energy in you today. That wouldn’t be because grandpa is visiting right?” Adrien says, lifting the small boy in the air. The boy’s giggle sounds like a soft chime in Marinette’s ears. “Did you say good morning to Mama?”  _

_ “Mama!” the boy screams and suddenly Marinette has thirty pounds of warmth plopped into her lap. _

_ “What?” Marinette asks, looking up at Adrien. Adrien looks almost ethereal as the sunlight makes his silhouette glow. His smile, the sunlight, and the sheets underneath her are almost too soft for her.  _

_ “But-” she looks down and has to pause at the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen looking up at her. His eyes are big and a clear jade. It’s like his pupils are swimming in a lazy river. His hair is curled perfectly. He’s got the smallest little button nose.  _

_ “Mama?” the boy says and Marinette feels herself melt immediately. She pulls the boy close to her. _

_ “Hello little nugget,” she says, pushing past her confusion.  _

_ “Trying to soften Mama up so we’ll let you eat grandpa’s cookies before breakfast?” Adrien teases. Marinette looks at Adrien. _

_ “Grandpa?”  _

_ And suddenly they’re all in a kitchen she doesn’t recognize.  _

_ “Hello my boy, guess what I brought?” her father is kneeling in front of the beautiful boy with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. _

_ “Shit Dad!” she panics moving to pull down the oversized t-shirt she’s wearing only for her hand to be met with the fabric of jeans.  _

_ “What?” she mumbles to herself.  _

_ “You okay Mari?” Adrien asks, wearing a crisp white button up she didn’t see him change into. Marinette shakes her head. _

_ “Wait. Dad?” Her father stands from the floor and for some reason she feels breathless. His cheeks are especially rosy. _

_ “And how are you doing my beautiful girl?” he says, pulling her into an embrace. She wraps her arms tightly around him. She tries to breathe in the scent of melted sugar and butter he usually carries but she can’t smell anything.  _

_ “But-”  _

_ “Your mom was following me up the stairs, she should be behind me,” her Dad says, pulling away. Like clockwork, a knock reverberates through the room. But her Dad doesn’t move to get the door. Adrien stands still next to her.  _

_ “Wait? Why is no one getting the door?” she asks. Her father seems to be paused in front of her. She moves her hand in front of his face but nothing registers in his eyes. She tries to move but it’s like her feet are glued to the floor. The knocking is incessant.  _

_ “What? What is going on? Why-”  _

It takes only a few seconds for Marinette to realize she’s been dreaming and the knocking is coming from outside. She moves her hands around the red silk comforter. This is definitely Adrien’s bed. 

“Alya! Goodmorning,” she hears Adrien say through the crack in the bedroom door. Marinette sits up. The ends of her hair tickle her bare shoulder as the t-shirt Adrien lended her last night is so big it falls mid bicep. Marinette puts her hand on her forehead, brushing her bangs away. She tries to remember what her dream was about but it slips into the crevices of her mind like water. She has no idea what images brought about this wistful feeling in her chest.

“Hmm Adrien,” Alya says, her tone laced with a little more bite than should be allowed this early. “You wouldn’t have seen Marinette recently?” 

“Yeah, um, actually came here last night.”  
“Mhhmm, I figured this is where she’d be. And you let her in of course.” Alya says. Marinette feels her eyebrows crinkle underneath her hand.

“Yeah, Alya of course.” 

“Mmm, Adrien Agreste always makes sure Marinette has a bed to sleep in, huh?” Alya asks. Marinette recognizes the voice she’s using as the one she uses as a journalist. Apparently Adrien does too.

“Okay Alya, I give up. What are you getting at?” 

“Your bed is always open for Marinette when she’s vulnerable.” Marinette gasps and jumps out of Adrien’s bed.

“Jesus Alya, you know that is completely-” 

“Did you try any-” Alya’s sentence trails off when Marinette bursts through the bedroom door. Alya looks over Marinette’s attire; her lips purse momentarily. Marinette would have missed it completely had she not been friends with Alya for over a decade.

It only takes a moment for Alya’s eyes to brim with tears. Her shoulders relax in an unguarded way Marinette rarely ever sees. Marinette finds herself looking to the floor and adjusting the neckline of Adrien’s t-shirt so her shoulder isn’t exposed. She shuffles her feet.

“Oh honey, I went to your house as soon as I heard the news,” Alya says, her feet coming into Marinette’s view. She pulls Marinette into a tight hug, the big bag she’s carrying making it a little awkward. “How are you doing?” Alya asks into Marinette’s hair, her hand rubbing up and down her best friend’s back. Marinette doesn’t respond, she just nuzzles her nose into Alya’s hair. Alya pulls back.

“I got some stuff from your house for you to get ready. I was thinking maybe we could catch some breakfast, Nino and Leon are saving us a table at that little cafe you like.” Alya is smiling sadly at Marinette. Her eyes keep blinking. Marinette has been with Alya for enough almost-break-ups with Nino to know that she’s trying not to cry. Marinette grabs the bag in an attempt to shrug off the weight that has filled the room. 

“Is there enough room for Adrien at the table?” Marinette asks. Adrien, who had been slouched against his kitchen counter suddenly stands upright. 

“That’s not necessary Mari,” Adrien protests. Marinette shoots him a quiet look that feels like she’s reaching out to him. 

“Nino would probably like someone to talk to and I’m sure Leon misses his uncle,” Marinette says softly, directing a pointed look at Alya. Alya hums, quickly pasting a tight, ill-fitted encouraging smile on her face.  
“I’m sure the waitress wouldn’t mind giving us another seat,” Alya says. Adrien smiles, hand going up to rub his shoulder.

“Alright. I’ll go get ready too.” 


	6. Fire

Adrien’s driver barely pulls up to the sidewalk in front of Cafe Jannot when Marinette bursts out of the car. She waves a quick thanks towards the poor visibly uncomfortable man. Adrien and Alya spent the whole car ride sharing snide remarks and Marinette could only clutch the hem of her skirt until her knuckles turned white. She breathes in the wet air of a damp French morning. Marinette feels the warmth of Adrien’s hand on the small of her back and flinches away. She clenches her eyes shut and then rushes into the cafe. 

“Nino,” she says breathily. She rushes to give her peacemaking friend a much needed hug. Unfortunately, a mass gets tangled up in her legs.

“Mars!” 

Marinette feels the irritation prickling at her skin ease away immediately.

“Mon chouchou,” she says, lifting the smiling boy into her arms. Feeling his small arms wrap around her shoulders and his nose nuzzling into her neck heals her so quickly she almost staggers back. She lays her fingers into Leon’s soft afro. She looks at Nino who is smiling softly from where he is seated behind his son. “You’ve gotten so much bigger my little nugget.” 

Suddenly Leon begins struggling in her arms. She places him on the ground only for him to run past her the minute his little feet touch the ground. “Uncle Adrien!”

Adrien kneels on the ground just in time for Leon to barrel into him. Adrien is almost knocked over by the force of the impact.

“Little lion,” Adrien says, effortlessly lifting the boy into the air and twirling him around. Maybe it’s the light gleaming off of Adrien’s watch but together they paint a picture of iridescent sunshine that’s too bright for Marinette. She turns around to Nino.

“Adrien?” Nino mouths silently. Marinette sucks her lips into her mouth and nods. “And Alya?” he mouths. Marinette nods. Nino cringes. Marinette nods and slides into the booth next to him.

“I wanna sit next to you and Mars!” Leon says excitedly, now dragging Adrien to the booth. 

  
“So you don’t wanna sit next to Mommy and Daddy?” Alya says, unwrapping the scarf around her neck. Not for the first time, Marinette admires the air Alya gives off. Always on the move. Every step is purposeful and powerful. She’s reminded of her coworkers who undoubtedly think she stumbled into success. 

“Shit, work!” Marinette exclaims, immediately digging through her bag for her phone. Alya takes the bag from her friend. She gives Nino a quick peck and settles in next to him. 

“Don’t worry about that sweetie. I already called in for you,” Alya says. Marinette instantly feels something bubble in her stomach. She places her arms around her waist.

“What-what did you say to them?” she says. She quickly moves a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I just said you had a family emergency to tend to. Did I overstep a boundary?” Alya asks, reaching over to place a hand over Marinette’s.  _ Family emergency. _ Marinette moves her hands over her face. She presses her palms into her eyes. 

“No. No, of course not,” she says, removing her hands from her eyes and brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. She reaches for her bag. “But maybe I should go in? The Spring line fashion show is soon and-” 

Adrien reaches past Leon for her wrist. “I think my father could spare you.”

Marinette makes direct eye contact with Adrien who looks like he wouldn’t dare get up to let her pass him. Alya looks just as resolute from her corner of the booth.  _ So  _ **_this_ ** _ is what they agree on.  _ Marinette nods her head and settles back onto the cushion. 

“Shouldn’t you be in the office?” Marinette asks defiantly. 

“I have a family emergency too,” Adrien says, squeezing her wrist. Marinette feels her lips part, letting out all her struggle in one breath. She brings her hand up to Adrien’s cheek. She feels the skin of Adrien’s cheek grow hot under her skin. Not for the first time, she’s overwhelmed with the urge to put both hands on his cheeks and shove his face against her chest. Sometimes she just loves him too much.

“I’m hungry,” Leon says causing Marinette to move her hand from Adrien’s face quickly. 

“Well let’s look at your menu then bud,” Adrien says, holding the menu in front of Leon. Marinette turns to Nino as Adrien tries to get Leon to read some of the smaller words on the menu. 

“Nino,” Marinette says, draping her arm around her friend. In many ways he was her closest friend. Certainly much less maintenance than either Alya or Adrien. “How’s the music industry treating you?”

Nino shrugs, always carrying himself with the most humility. “Didn’t get to bed until 3 am last night which is always the dream.” 

Alya hums, looking at the pair from over her mug. “Why don’t you tell Mari who’s the next artist you’re producing.” Marinette raises an eyebrow. Nino casts a quick look at Adrien and then nervously removes his cap from his head.

“Yeah well um since he’s back from his tour...Luka and I are working on a song together.”

Marinette resists the urge to roll her eyes at Alya’s immediate full smile. She’d be less obvious if she wiggled her eyebrows and shimmied her shoulders.

“Interesting,” Marinette says. “You guys have very different vibes. You usually work with rappers and Luka is more alternative or indie rock.”

Nino shrugs. “People like to be surprised.”

“Cool,” Marinette says, bringing her attention to her menu. Marinette is debating between a croissant and a muffin when Alya interrupts her perusing. 

“Adrien, it’s been quite a while since you’ve seen Luka, am I right?” Alya says. Marinette and Nino drop their menus at the same time. Adrien clears his throat.

“Yeah, I think the last time I saw him was when he invited me up on stage to play piano with the band. It was really nice of him,” Adrien says, wiping a milk mustache from Leon’s face. The boy has his complete attention. Marinette gives Alya a pointed look.

“Oh yeah, I remember that. That was back when him and Mari were a thing right?” 

“Alya!” Nino shouts, dragging a hand over his face. Marinette resists the urge to glare at her friend out of respect for Nino who is clearly embarrassed.

“I never really ask Marinette about her dating history. I try to respect my friend’s privacy,” Adrien says. Leon is oblivious as he inspects the picture of waffles on the menu but the other members of the table flinch at the current hidden beneath the still water of Adrien’s voice. Marinette raises both hands to her temples. Alya laughs extravagantly, head tilted back so that the slope of her neck is exposed and hands on her abdomen.

“Friend? I think you and Mari are a little bit past that,” Alya says once she calms down, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of her eye. 

“Guys, Leon,” Nino begins to protest.

“What do you want?” an old man with a comically long mustache asked, his apron tucked under his round gut.

“Raphael! Thank God,” Marinette says, moving her hands from her temple and perking up instantly. Raphael arches an eyebrow subtly and quickly moves his eyes over the faces at the table. Marinette’s friends have all reached unprecedented success in their fields, Adrien of course having the most recognizable face, but the great thing about Raphael was that he gave the same amount of respect to everyone. Not much. Raphael looked at Marinette disinterestedly, tapping his foot against the floor.

“Are you ready to order or not?” Raphael asked gruffly, his voice always prickly with irritation. Marinette looks around at her friends. Alya’s arms are crossed. She looks like she could melt the glass of the window she’s looking out of. Nino is scratching anxiously at his beard. Adrien is enthralled with the tip of his fork. Leon is tucked into his side, too shy to make direct eye contact with Raphael. Marinette sighs.

“I think we need a couple of minutes Mr. Raphael,” Marinette says. Raphael rolls his eyes and crosses his intimidatingly large arms.   


“Whatever,” he scoffs. He’s about to walk away when he stops in front of their table again. “Listen kid, your Dad was supposed to bring a few orders of macarons this morning. You got any idea what the hold up is about?”

“Oh - well,” Marinette looks down and puffs her t-shirt out. She feels the familiar sting in her eyes only it’s even more irritating to her already swollen lower lids. She wants to be able to lift her face and look this man in the eyes but it’s like a weight is being balanced on the back of her head. She moves a strand of hair behind her ear. She takes a deep breath, determined to deliver this news to her father’s peer and possibly friend. She meets Raphael’s eyes.

“Actually um, my Dad-” Marinette’s voice cracks a little. Raphael looks at her, eyebrows knitted. She bites her lip and clears her throat. She averts her eyes to Leon who is looking up at her, his dark, thick lashes making his eyes look larger than most children. She gives him a soft smile, eyes wet, and runs a hand down his arm. She doesn’t know if she’s trying to comfort him or herself. “My father...moved on yesterday evening.”

“Oh.” Raphael says, his voice softening in a way it never does. He looks down at his notepad silently for a few seconds and then looks back at Marinette. “Sorry kid.”

“Yeah,” Marinette says, looking down again, rubbing her sleeve quickly over her cheeks.

“...I think we’ll be fine with four chocolate chip muffins, an orange cranberry muffin, two chai lattes, two green teas and one hot chocolate,” Nino says. Marinette hears the scratch of Raphael’s pen on his notepad and then he’s walking away. Marinette looks up at Nino who is now playing with his napkin.

“You remembered my favorite muffin flavor.” Marinette sniffles.

“I got you girl,” Nino says, wrapping an arm around Marinette’s shoulder. The kindness is enough to make Marinette’s lips quiver. She puts her hands over her eyes.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she says quickly enough for her voice not to warble. She gets up but she’s in the center seat of their booth and she can’t easily escape. Her hands are still covering her face. “Shi-sorry, can I just get by real quick nugget?”

“Mari, do you want me to come with you?” Alya asks. She shakes her head in response, but she’s already too far for Alya to see her.

When the door of the bathroom shuts behind her she lets herself lean against the sink. She removes her hands from her face and gasps immediately at the woman staring back at her in the mirror. She was still wearing the makeup from yesterday morning. Her running mascara was smudging into the bags under her eyes. Her hair was still in the bun she slept in. She breathes out, rubbing at the remnants of her mascara. She opens up her bag and Tikki immediately comes zooming out around her.

“That was tense out there,” Tikki states. Marinette lays her cool fingers on her hot forehead.

“I just  **_needed_ ** both of them. Both of them. I need them to-” Marinette bites her lip when she feels the familiar lump clog her throat.

“I get it Marinette, you won’t hear any more judgment from me today,” Tikki says, snuggling into Marinette’s cheek. Marinette lifts her hand to press Tikki closer to her cheek. “You have some concealer in your bag.”

Marinette opens her bag and pushes away some old folded papers from meetings in the office. She pushes her lotion and perfume aside and digs her hand deeper into her purse. She opens a zipper and fingers her credit cards. She closes that zipper and opens another. She feels tension cover her whole body like a cloak. 

“Mari, if you’d like I can-”

She raises a hand to stop Tikki mid sentence and digs in her purse with a renewed vigor. The folded up meeting papers slash against her skin, a groan bubbles past her lips. She takes her hand out of her purse and digs her nails into the leather exterior. She throws the purse against one of the stall walls. It slumps against the floor. The small tube of concealer rolls out of the now overturned bag. Marinette would laugh if she wasn’t already trying desperately to breathe past the blockage in her throat. She smacks her hands against the sink, feeling drop after drop roll down her cheeks and neck. A sob that is completely beyond her control rips out of her chest and breaks through the pressure that had built up behind the dam in her throat. She claws at the porcelain of the sink. 

“Mari!” Tikki shouts urgently. Marinette looks up at Tikki, her eyebrows scrunched up, tears temporarily halted in confusion. “I think there’s an akumatized person in the cafe.”

“What?” Marinette says, mouth hanging open. She wipes at her irritated cheeks. Like clockwork she hears a terrified scream ripple through the walls of the bathroom. “That’s...but yesterday...how could he-”

Tikki cringes.

“Evil rarely takes a day off.” 

Marinette blinks rapidly as she looks at herself in the mirror. She shakes her head. Yesterday Hawkmoth scares her father into a heart attack that steals him away from his life. From his daughter and wife. And today he...akumatizes someone else? Marinette tries to make the puzzle pieces fit. No one could have so much darkness and depravity in them that they would even consider doing something so...Marinette struggles to find the words. 

“Mari...” Tikki says, looking between Marinette’s still body and the bathroom door through which she can hear the painful screams. When Marinette looks back on the next coming moments she can only describe it in comparison to those scenes in action movies when someone pours gasoline over a dead body. They stare at that wet, cold, still body and hold the match up to their faces, watching as the small flame eats away at the thin piece of wood. So much promise for chaos held in that thumbprint sized flame. And then they drop it.

All Marinette can breathe is toxic black smoke. 

All she can see is red. 

And all she can feel are flames eating up at the flesh beneath her skin. 


End file.
